Wait, what???

A few months back I wrote a post titled, "Yes.[No].Wait." which primarily focused on how to respond when God tells us "no" when answering a prayer. A few days, ago I received a few questions on this post and I thought they were really good so I decided to make another post, in case anyone else also struggled with the same questions.

***I have abbreviated the comment/question for spacing, but please feel free to read the entire question here :

Hi Leah, I've asked these questions a few times in the past but never really found an answers I can live with. So I'd love to hear your ideas. Here's the questions:

Assuming you have prayed within God's will - yes, no or wait.
In reference to the no & wait, how can we tell the difference when God goes silent?
I assume most people like myself would continue praying & keeping the faith as we believe this silence is God thinking things over in his good time. Hence perhaps giving us a 'wait' answer. 

You wrote, " “No” meaning, you’ve pretended like God hasn’t already made it clear to you that His answer is NO and you’ve told yourself you’re in the “waiting stage.”"

What if God hasn't made a 'no' answer clear? Does that mean we should naturally accept His silence as a 'wait'?

And what exactly are we waiting for? Are we waiting for our prayer request to faithfully manifest in our lives. Or, are we being asked to merely 'wait' for God's answer to be a clear 'yes' or 'no'?

How do you know the difference between a 'no' or a 'wait' when there's no guidance from God either way?

First, thank you for taking the time to read my post. These are really good questions, but let me just repeat it back to you just so I'm clear my response is addressing exactly what you’re asking. When praying to God and waiting for His response, you're asking how can we determine what is a wait and what is a no, because unlike "yes" which gives a self explanatory answer, "no" and "wait" can sometimes seem interchangeable and can be considered gray areas when getting an answer from God? And if we feel that we're being led to "wait" what exactly are we waiting on God for? (Hope I got that right lol).

 So let’s go back to your example of the dispute with a friend. I think the most important thing we have to realize is it is not God's intention for us to be confused or turn into a skeleton from “waiting" to hear a response from God. One thing that I’m learning, even after this blog post is to evaluate exactly what you are asking in prayer. It's very easy for us to get caught up in the, "Lord should I do this?" and "Lord, do you want me to be his/her friend?" prayers and it kind of turns God into a magic 8 ball and we shake him to get a yes, no or maybe answer. Now don't get me wrong, can we ask Him direct questions like that and expect a direct response? Absolutely. But I would encourage you to take your prayer life a step further and along with asking God for a direct answer, also pray for wisdom and insight on the situation that you are placing before Him.

 In the example of the dispute with a friend, you mentioned several characteristics of the friend that are contradicting to your walk with Christ.  Much like in relationships we notice red flags, it's the same thing in the case of friendships and I'm sure you've noticed red flags, (still assuming this is an example lol) as you were able to name the issues your friend was dealing with right off the bat.  You also mentioned that you had a feeling that the friend would choose to forfeit the friendship just so they didn't have to own up to any responsibility with the disagreement. Here's where the wisdom comes into play, knowing all that you know about your friend...I would ask, what am I gaining from this friendship? Is this person even really a friend? Breaking down the situation further (no matter the case) and asking these questions help give us a better evaluation of why and what we're exactly asking of God.

 I think you raise an excellent question about what do you do when you're just flat out not hearing from God for an answer? I would like to challenge this, because for me personally I use to say this ALLLLL the time! But the truth is God does speak, but what are we doing to hear Him? First things first, whatever it is that we are putting before The Lord, we must get rid of that vision we have already set in our minds of how we want the situation to work out. This could be very distracting when "waiting" to hear from God because whatever response you're getting isn't matching to what you expected or hoped for.

 But for those times where we feel like we don't hear anything at all from God I would ask, what are you doing to make sure your frequency is tuned into His station? For example it's so easy to pray, Lord are we going to remain friends? And then wait by the phone to get a call from the friend. So after two weeks go by and no call you're confused on whether it’s a no or wait, but God doesn't give confirmation through air lol. He confirms and reveals things to us in His word and through other believers. So my challenge to you is, after you've prayed about it, are you then asking God to direct you through His word?

 So say you prayed on this and in your quiet time with God you came across the scripture, "therefore, come out from among unbelievers, and separate yourselves from them, says the Lord.” (2 Corinthians 6:17) and this automatically tugs at your heart as your mind automatically goes back to the situation with your friendship.  Or you attend church the next Sunday and the sermon is on, "God taking people put of your life" please don’t count these as coincidences. This in fact is God speaking to you on your situation. ALONG with your friend not being receptive to repairing the situation. God's word reveals. I would be bold and count this as a "no." But here's where our trust in God is key: no doesn't necessarily mean never. But this is also where we tend to get confused so let me quickly say.....a "no" for right now is still a no.  Does that mean you'll end up being friends later? Maybe. But our job isn't to focus on the future, it's to be obedient in what God is saying now. Our relationship with God is a faith and trust walk.

So to go back to your original question,  If we're waiting "by faith" for what we've been praying to manifest in our lives, that to me is assuming that God wants this for you and not truly accepting what God's will may really be.  We have to want God's will more than our own. I believe all “wait’s” eventually turn into a yes or no, but the bottom line is whatever God decides at that time is what was the very best possible thing for you. The "wait" is just honestly designed to keep you seeking Him until He reveals the "yes" or "no" (Proverbs 3:5-6). And I would even take it a step further to say that God is not just about changing our situation, He's really about changing us, so that waiting period could really be for your benefit because when you "think" you're not hearing from God, it's really exactly where He wants us. It's causing us to seek Him more and become desperate for His presence, which He loves!  But after that yes or no is revealed that's where trust kicks back in and says, “Lord I see this is where you're leading me for this situation. I may not agree with it but BY FAITH I believe that it's all working together for my good.”  (Romans 8:28).  God knows what outcome we really need and when we need it. The Bible says in Psalms 84:11, "no good thing will He withhold from those who walk uprightly." So He has our best interest at heart no matter what answer He gives us.

Whew! I know that was a lot, but I truly hoped this helped! Please feel free to write back, this is a tough subject but soooo glad you brought it up! :)