You Do the Math...

If it’s one thing I’m learning more and more each day, it's that it is imperative to surround yourself with people who are going in the same direction as you.  This is something our mothers have told us a thousand times before, but yet somehow we still thought we could move forward in God’s plan for our lives by keeping everyone we started out with in our circle.  As much as I wish this could be true, it just doesn’t/can’t happen this way.  When God is calling us to a closer relationship with Him, it causes for some things to change….including but not limited to, a shifting of friends. 

 “Do not team up with unbelievers……for what does light have in common with darkness?” -2 Corinthians 6:14

I’m often asked the question if I lost any of my friends when I made the decision to become more committed in my relationship with Christ and what did I tell them?  The answer is yes, I did…..but I didn’t have to tell them anything.  See when you begin to move in a certain direction in life…only one of two things will happen: either they jump on board or they jump ship.  From my personal experience, I don’t ever remember having to sit down and formally “break up” with a friend.  As your interests and desires change as you grow in Christ, it will be inevitable for your friends to take notice.  They’ll either accept the change they see in you or they will reject it by distancing themselves from you.  I mean let’s be real….if your friend is trying to get it in at a club on a Friday night, the last thing they’re trying to hear is you wanting to go to a Young Adult Bible Study! Lol Eventually enough of these “mishaps” will result in them to stop hitting you up.  Honestly, it sucks when it happens that way, but the Bible tells us in 2 Corinthians 6:14 not to team up with unbelievers, for what does light have in common with darkness? We should be moving to a point in our relationship with God where we won’t even want to associate ourselves with things that are contradicting to His word. 

“We should always associate ourselves with people who ADD to our lives and not people who SUBTRACT from it.”

Now right about here I probably lost someone. Lol  Let me guess, your next question is, "does this mean I can’t be friends with someone who’s not a Christian?" The answer is: of course you can! However, there is a difference between being friends/acquaintances with someone and being “associated” with someone.  When you’re associated with someone, you now risk being labeled under whatever reputation that comes along with that particular person or group.  Truthfully, this is where many of us go wrong.  We try to hang on to CeCe or Tyrone from around the block because they were our first real friend and every time God makes it beyond obvious that y’all are headed in two different directions, you pretend like you don’t see the clear lifestyle differences! This ultimately results in you continuing to go places and do things that you KNOW God has called you away from.  Let’s take a minute to do a self-evaluation.  Think about the people you talk to on a consistent basis.  Do these people add peace or do they add drama to your life? Are they bearing fresh or rotten fruit on your tree?  Simply put, are they making you better or making you worse? We should always associate ourselves with people who ADD to our lives and not people who SUBTRACT from it. 

It’s true, people who aren’t on the same page as you as far as the direction you’re headed, can and WILL stunt your spiritual growth. In Proverbs 27:17 it tells us that “As iron sharpens iron, so a friend sharpens a friend.”  Iron is such a strong element that only something of its kind can make it even stronger.  Same thing applies with our friendships.  If we truly want to grow in our relationship with God we have to surround ourselves with people who are also trying to do the same thing.  It’s time to do a serious friend check.  Everyone can’t go where God is taking you…..and that’s okay.  You may lose some people along the way, but the blessing is the people who choose to stay with you find that their lives will also begin to change for the better all because YOU made the decision to choose Christ.  Don’t worry about who’s not with it….God never takes  something away without replacing it with something far better. 

"God has great things in store for your life and no dead-end friendships are worth you missing out on it."

So you do the math in your own life.  Identify the people who aren’t adding anything positive to your life and SUBTRACT them from it.  Better yet, continue to grow closer to God and watch them subtract themselves.  God has great things in store for your life and no dead-end friendships are worth you missing out on it.  Allow God to add peace in your life by subtracting people and things that no longer hold your interest and watch how your happiness and joy will multiply….yes, God is the ultimate mathematician lol :)

-Leah



Bible Study
*For more dealing with this topic, check out the following scriptures:
2 Corinthians 6:14
Proverbs 27:17
1 Corinthians 15:33
Hebrews 10:25



Exposed...

It’s funny how when we really begin to grow in our relationship with Christ we sometimes get to a point where we subconsciously think we’ve reached our “spiritual maturity” peak and there’s nowhere else for us to go.  Oh okay, so just me? Lol.  I have truly been growing and maturing in my walk with Christ and I caught myself thinking that I had worked on every area that I was supposed to work on….and pretty much had everything under control.  If you’ve also felt like this at some point let me politely pop your bubble: we will NEVER be complete in Christ until He returns.  That’s why the saying says “we STRIVE for perfection.”  Meaning we are not perfect.  So if we’re not perfect, then we are still subject to sin….yes, even those of us who are "strong" in our faith. 

"Part of the growing process is when God guts out all the things that aren't like Him....to make us just like Him."

Recently, I was confronted with a particular situation at work where I could have responded one way….but instead I took the low road and chose to respond out of my flesh…meaning what Leah REALLY wanted to say.  I knew the moment I hit send I was wrong for the way I worded what I said….and as a consequence I accidentally sent the email to other people.  See, when you are disobedient and don’t do things out of love…God will deal with you.  In this particular situation…God dealt with me by exposing me.  Here I am in my private life thinking I have everything together….I’m active in church, active in ministry….encouraging people to grow in God…..and all of that is awesome!  However, God had to remind me that I am still not all that I should be.  When we are growing in our walk with Christ….it is an on-going process….meaning we will always be growing.  In this situation, God literally had to show me a side of myself that still wasn’t like Him.  Part of the growing process is when God guts out all the things that aren’t like Him….to make us just like Him.   It’s uncomfortable, it’s frustrating and in this situation extremely embarrassing but it’s all to make us better Christians.

One of the many things I love about God is that He loves us wayyyyy too much to keep us the same way we are! We may think we have it all together, but God looks at the heart.  It’s nice that we take special detail in our outward appearance, but it’s worthless if our life doesn’t match with what we say and how we live.  If we truly want to be people after God’s heart, we have to allow Him to operate on us….rebuild us from the inside out.  Being exposed by my coworkers was a truly humbling experience.  I learned that whether I’m a work or at church I am to deal with everything out of love.  We should be representing Christ no matter where we are or what we do….a lesson that should be well ingrained in me by now, but somehow I forgot this important principle. 

"Dealing with things through love is not only 'the right thing to do' but at the end of the day, it keeps us credible." 

I thank God for grace….the opportunity for me to get it right.  As imperfect people we are going to mess up, it’s inevitable.  The important thing is getting it right.  Although it was not an easy conversation….I did confront my coworker and with all the sincerity in the world, gave her a genuine apology.  Now whether she really accepted this or not….and in some cases people may not, I had done my part.  I saw how God revealed a side of me that wasn’t displaying me in a good light and I learned a valuable lesson about demonstrating love…in everything.  Yes, I know this is not easy…..but it is required if we want to be more like Him.  Dealing with things through love is not only “the right thing to do” but at the end of the day, it keeps us credible.  I want to make sure that how I present myself at church on Sunday…is the exact same way I present myself at work on Monday, in the supermarket on Tuesday, and so on and so on.  God doesn’t expose us to embarrass us, He exposes us to better us.  I know I don't always get it right, but I thank God that He loves me enough to help make me look more like Him. (Proverbs 3:12) So when you end up in a similar situation or even worse situation….make the choice to act differently….choose to act out of love.

-Leah


Bible Study
*For more on this topic, check out the following scriptures:
1 Corinthians 16:14
1 Corinthians 13
1 John 3:18
James 1: 19-21
Luke 6: 27-31
Romans 12:10

It Will Cost You...

In 2 Samuel 24:24 King David makes a very profound statement, but before I tell you what he said let me give you some background on what was going on.  So King David had committed a sin against God (I'm not going to tell you what he did I want you to read it on your own lol) and God punished him by sending a 3-day plague over his entire kingdom. When the plague ended David was instructed to build an altar on Araunah's property.  So David in no position to be disobedient [again] set out to Araunah's land.  When the king and his entire entourage rolled up on Araunah's property you can only imagine this mere commoner's  face. He bowed and asked David of what honor did he owe for the King to visit him. David said he wanted to buy his threshold to build an altar. Araunah does what any of us would have done he offers his threshold for free to the King. Nice gesture right? Now here's where David says something that really stuck with me. He thanked Araunah for his generosity but declined the offer by saying, "I couldn't offer a sacrifice to God that doesn't cost me anything"

"I couldn't offer a sacrifice to God that doesn't cost me anything"

Wow. That one sentence speaks volumes!!! Now of course David already had a grateful spirit at this point since God spared his life...which made him even more more determined to pay God back any way he could.  However, this mentality should be used whether we're in good standing with God or not. Our sacrifices for God should always cost something....if not its not really a sacrifice.

This scripture really speaks to me on a personal level because I can't count the times I've placed God around my life as opposed to placing my life  around God. Spending time with God and being involved in Church is awesome.....as long as its convenient for you. But what about those times when it's not? What about when your friend got you tickets to go see Beyonce` in concert but you promised to teach Sunday School to the kids the same day?  Or for the fellas, someone offered you tickets to see your favorite football team?  For most this isn't even a question of what you would do lol.  But all jokes aside, is God not worth more than Beyonce` or a football game?  We HAVE to get back to the place where our worship is based on sacrifice. Sacrifice means that sometimes we'll have to give up those things that we love the most just to show God that we love Him more.  Believe me this is easier said than done, and that Beyonce` situation is a bit extreme, but it does put things in perspective.  It's not fair of us to demand so much of God, and in return give Him so little.  Especially when the little we do give, still somehow benefits us in the end.  Hmm...now how does that happen? lol  When we love someone so much, we drop everything for them.  Their needs come before ours and we will do anything to show our level of love and commitment for them.....but for some reason....we don't go as hard for Christ.  Why is that?

"You prove your highest level of commitment when you choose one thing over something else."

You prove your highest level of commitment when you choose one thing OVER something else.  Sorry guys, I'm really preaching to myself right now.  I've been finding myself fighting to put my phone down or turn my TV off just so I can spend time with Him and allow Him to feed my soul.   I mean I'm worried about missing an episode of Basketball Wives where (none of them are married mind you) just to sit and read my Bible which literally breathes life into me.  Sounds kinda dumb when I write it out, I know. lol 

You know what else?  Sacrifice doesn't just mean time.  Sacrifice could also mean choosing to not go to certain places...or even worse---who you've been choosing to go to these places with.  Yup, sacrifice is so much more than spending time with God, it's a lifestyle.  Just like your faithful husband/wife wouldn't want you hanging out all night at a strip club, God doesn't want you there either.  Even when everyone else is doing it--correction, especially when everyone else is doing it.  This life of faithfulness to Christ will have to cost you, but it's all so God can give you back more than what you've lost. 

Every time I hear the word sacrifice it reminds me of Abraham, and how he was ready to kill his son, the VERY thing he BEGGED God for...just to show God he loved Him more. I can't say I have a heart like Abraham's just yet, but I'm striving for it everyday.  Jesus committed the ultimate sacrifice by being tortured and murdered on a cross for us...and guess what? Even if He had to go through all of that just for you, one person......He still would have done it. Talk about sacrifice! Christ died just so that we could have the opportunity to be in direct contact with Himself, the creator of life, the planets and the stars, but yet we still struggle with "finding time" to spend with Him. Now that I've called us (myself included) out on this....let's strive to develop an attitude like King David, where we dear not offer God a sacrifice that doesn't cost us anything.  "For His sake, I have discarded everything else, counting it all as garbage, all so I could gain Christ." -Philippians 3:8


-Leah  



 Bible Study
*For more on "Sacrifice" check out these scriptures:
2 Samuel 24:21-24
Deuteronomy 6:5
Philippians 3:8
Romans 12:1-2

Tunnel Vision...

"I will keep you in perfect peace, if you keep your mind stayed on Me." -Isaiah 26:3

As I was writing "Walking on Water" the words "keep your eyes stayed on Christ" really stuck with me for some reason. I begin to really break that down as to what that meant for me and where I am right now. I don't know about you, but I can be easily distracted. I honestly think I have some form of attention deficiency lol, but it's often hard for me to keep my focus. Honestly, that's a common problem for many of us....but the real question is, what are we being distracted by?

"Whatever you feed the most, will grow the most."

I know for me social media is one of my biggest distractions. I find myself stuck on Facebook/Twitter/Instagram way longer than I need to be.  Now let me be clear in saying social media is not the devil. Lol .....But the negative things that you see and read that are subconsciously seeping into your heart and mind...is. I was once told a long time ago that whatever you feed the most will grow the most. If we're constantly feeding our spirit with Facebook/Twitter/Instagram, then we can be certain that this is what will eventually produce in our hearts.  Allowing the influence of social media to take residence in your heart is a very dangerous thing if you are trying to have a heart that's after Christ. It's dangerous because you're opening the door to feed your spirit with more Facebook/Twitter/Instagram than the word of God.

I'll use myself as an example. There was a point in time where I was very content with where I was in life with who was in it and the things that I had. Then I begin to look on Facebook/Twitter/Instagram and saw what other people were doing...and that quickly, my prayer went from "Thank You Lord for blessing me with what I have" to "Lord why don't I have this?" and then frustration and anger begin to set in.  What's funny is we fail to realize that people can make their lives look like WHATEVER they want them to look like on social media!!! lol By focusing on what other people were doing I was now falling in the trap of misconception.  I all the sudden went from gratefulness to discontentment....all because I was looking at other people. Pretty similar to what happened to Peter when he took his eyes off of Christ on the water and he sank. I found myself sinking in my own sorrows off of what I thought I was "supposed" to have.  But that's because I was feeding my spirit with non-spiritual things. I was looking at others instead of concentrating on the many things God was doing in my life.

"If we want more of Christ in our life it starts with our focus."

If we want more of Christ in our life it starts with our focus. Our focus must be Him. Even if that means shutting down a few social accounts to gain that focus back.  Christ lost my attention for a little bit, but it's time for me to go back to having tunnel vision where all I'm looking at is Him.  The moment we stop wanting other people's lives is the moment God can really bless ours.

-Leah

For another great read on the subject of social media, check out this awesome blog post by Emily Wilson: complexsimplicite.tumblr.com  

*For additional reading on keeping your focus on Christ check out these scriptures:

Isaiah 26:3

Proverbs 4:25

Hebrews 12:1-2

Undefeated...

Not too long ago I was introduced to a Christian-contemporary song by The Planet Shakers called, "The Anthem." After listening for a few minutes the words begin to flow from out of my ears and resonate into my heart:

"Hallelujah, You have won the victory! Hallelujah, You have won it all for me! Death could not hold You down, You are the risen King! Seated in majesty, You are the risen King!"

I didn't understand it before, but now I totally get why that song is called the Anthem. It just gets me hype every time I hear those words!  Aside from the Bible being on the worlds best sellers list since the list was created, aside from Christ being referenced over 2,000 years ago....you know what really separates Christ from any other god? He beat death!!! He's the only God in history that is still alive! I'm sorry for all the exclamation points but when I think about how Christ conquered death, it brings tears to my eyes.
Wow. How powerful and great is our God!? "Death could not hold You down, You are the risen King!" I'm sure Allah, Buddha, Zeus (lol) were all great guys....but which one of them defeated death? ....I'll wait.

Whenever I think my circumstance or situation is too hard for God to handle, I'm reminded of how Christ committed the ultimate sacrifice and died on the cross for my sins...just so I could have the opportunity to come to know Him personally. But not only did He die for us, He got up for us!  Although many have tried to compete and win the title, Christ will forever be the undefeated champion. I don't know about y'all but that's extremely comforting to know. If Christ fought with death...and won, then how could we ever think our [difficult] problems are too hard for Him to handle???

We can rest and assure that no problem, job situation, bad day, passed-due bill, bad break-up, or even loss of a loved one is too hard for Him to handle. He's the undefeated champion....and if you're rolling with Him, you're on the winning team.

-Leah

*Check out this song, "The Anthem" by the Planet Shakers (warning it may get you hype lol)

Warning Signs...

So I was talking to a friend who had been confused by yet another dead-end relationship. It's something that all of us have experienced , but for others it may be a reoccurring misfortune.  We meet someone, we exchange numbers, go on a few dates......sometimes it works out, sometimes it doesn't.  Which is OKAY!  However, the problem begins to formulate when you repeatedly enter into the dating game completely overlooking the warning signs and red flags DIRECTLY in front of you!  So I asked some of my friends what were some of their biggest red flags when dating someone.  Again, I'm no expert, but based on my experiences and the experiences of those around me I think it's safe to say these are all universal signs that say: WARNING!

*Disclaimer: Sorry to my male followers, this is written from the female perspective, but no worries I'll have something for you soon ;-)


1. He's Indecisive...

Can't make up his mind if his life depended on it....especially when it comes to you and the relationship. We all know when we truly want something we HAVE to have it. And if we don't have the means of getting it right now, then we WORK towards getting it.  Same thing when you are interested in someone.  We have all experienced the "getting to know you stage" when people first meet, but eventually there should be a more concrete understanding  so that you both know where you stand on the future relationship, or lack thereof.  If you're always confused about what it is you're doing.....then let this be you first of many red flags to come.

2. He loves God but never goes to church.....

Now that's like saying you love a particular restaurant but never want to eat there, have a favorite song but never want to hear it, only rep a certain team but never want to go to a game....it just doesn't make sense! Now some may say whats the big deal with this? As long as he has a relationship with God than what does it matter if he goes to church? And if that's how you feel okay, but as for me, if a guy tells me he loves the Lord but never goes to church, I'm definitely giving him the extreme side-eye.  As a Christian woman, I'm looking for a man who has qualities of a spiritual leader.  No this does not mean we should be waiting for God to send us a preacher lol, but it does mean we should want to be with someone who makes God his priority.  Which includes, but is not limited to going to church.  Amen.

3. You're in a secret service relationship...

So basically what this means is only you, him and Jesus know about this thing lol.  Just so we're all clear....that is NOT okay!  It's okay to keep the matters of your relationship private, but if you're not allowed to tell anyone that you're with this person....then that's a serious problem.  If he wants to keep this relationship a secret you can only imagine how many other "secrets" he has been keeping!  Run, quickly.

4. You never hear from them...

In short, you should probably change his name in your phone to "Casper" because he has officially turned into a friendly ghost. He all the sudden becomes a presence as opposed to a person. If you find yourself ALWAYS reaching out to him first or he hits you with those "one" word responses...hate to sound cliche but "he's just not that into you." Don't be that girl who keeps beating a dead horse. It's not worth it. Leave him alone.

5. You only hear from him at night/weekends...

Do I really even need to say more? lol.  Last time I checked the phone worked not only on Friday and Saturday nights, but also Monday-Thursday mornings. Please don't fall into the "convenient" trap. If that person really has an interest in a future with you, then you won't have to confine all of your "dates" to a midnight movie night.  He can't meet your standards if you don't have any.

6. He never takes you out...

This is to piggy back off of #5.  Yes, it's cute to order take-out and just spend a nice, chill relaxing date in the house. But this should not be a privilege given on the 1st (4th or 5th in my opinion lol) date. (In fact, I'll even take it a step further to say if you're choosing to wait before you have sex, these one-on-one intimate encounters should be far and few. Temptation is REAL and you don't want to put yourself in a situation where you could easily fall)  If you're noticing that every time they want to meet up it's just kickin' it at their place or your place....run.  He obviously doesn't think you're worth taking out....so he should obviously not be worth your time.

7. They tell you they are not interested in a relationship/and or marriage...

One word: RUN! This is not code for "I really want to be with you but don't know how to say it" this in fact means I don't want a relationship. Sticking around to when they might be open to the idea is extremely risky and more than likely when they are ready it won't be with you. So like I said, run. NEVER convince someone to be with you. You're setting yourself and the future relationship up for failure.

8. He does too much too early...

Now everyone is different.  Some people are more affectionate than others.  However, if it's the first date and he's already trying to find any excuse to touch you....especially those areas that aren't visible...this my friend is a red flag.  It doesn't take a mind reader to figure out what's on his mind.  Even the terms of endearment too early should make you raise an eyebrow.  If he's calling you "baby" after a day....imagine who else he's calling that too. 

9. He has no short term, long term, or any term goals....

He's a man with no plan.  RUN!!! It's perfectly normal to not know exactly where you're going to be in the next 5 years.....or even 5 months for that matter, but you have to at least have a plan.  It's okay if it doesn't unfold exactly the way you mapped it out, but if you don't at least have a direction as to where you want to go....how can I be sure I fit in it?  The bible also says a man without wisdom is unstable in all his ways. (James 1:8) I don't know about you, but I'm definitely not trying to enter an unstable relationship.

10. He doesn't bring out the best in you...

So after a period of time you realize you're more stressed, angry, confused and disappointed than you are relaxed, happy, certain and satisfied with the relationship.  You realize that you both have the same weaknesses and neither one of you is making the other one a better person...it's definitely not a good sign.  This is like trying to make a dead plant grow.  It's just not working.   Pray and ask God for wisdom and learn when to let a dead relationship go.  It's hard, but there is someone better out there who will naturally bring all of the great qualities out of you...even the ones you didn't know existed.

------------------------------------------------------------------------------
My real advice to these warning signs is: WAIT ON GOD.  If you truly want God to send the right person you have to trust in His timing.  You will keep getting frustrated playing the dating game, trust me I know! lol  Allow him to prepare you AND him....even if that means kickin' it solo for awhile, you will be alright :)

I'm sure there are plenty more warning signs out there so feel free to comment and add your own.  You never know, you might have just helped someone else save their time :)

Walking on Water...

"And when you look down, there will be no more ground....you'll be standing on water"  -Mali Music

So hopefully we're all familiar with the story of Jesus enabling Peter to walk on water.  If not, here's a brief run down.   One day after "The Team" (Jesus and His disciples lol) were done feeding 5,000+ people with just 5 loaves of bread, and 2 fish (yes, Jesus and His team were something serious lol).  Jesus instructed the disciples to get back on their boat while He went up to the mountain to pray. However, by evening the boat had drifted a considerable distance away from shore.  But this didn't phase Jesus, instead He just started walking ON the water to get to the boat.  Now you can only imagine how the disciples felt looking out the boat and seeing a man walking on water! lol  You'd think they'd be like "that's dope!" considering  releasing demons out of people were apart of their everyday routine, but no....they were terrified!!! lol.  One main reason being they didn't recognize nor did they believe it was really Jesus. 

Peter was the one bold enough to say, "well Lord if that's really you then allow me to walk to You on the water."  Jesus could have easily said, "No, you'll just have to wait until I get back to the boat" or "oh so my word's not good enough for you?"  But instead He said, "Come."  That's it.  No other special instructions.  Just "come."  I believe it was at that point that Peter believed that it was really Jesus leading Him, because He had enough confidence to hop out the boat and begin walking on the water.  Now the Bible doesn't go into extreme detail of how long Peter was successfully walking on the water, we just know that as he got closer to Jesus he begin to look down and realize that what he was doing was completely supernatural. He got distracted by the raging winds and suddenly questioned himself, like "what am I really doing trying to walk on water!?"   See the focus isn't so much that Peter was walking on water, but the fact that he looked down.  When Peter looked down that meant he literally took his eyes off of Jesus.....the one who was giving him the ability to walk on water. 

Often times in our life God has called us off the boat to do some incredible things that we can only do through Him, but once we start walking in that direction...we get scared.  We no longer focus on the One who has called us, but the surrounding conditions and how unrealistic it seems.  We're just like Peter.  We finally get bold enough to walk, but because we don't understand the how we begin to take our eyes off of Christ and look at the circumstance.  When Peter looked down at his feet on top of the water and focused on the condition and not Christ, the Bible says he began to sink.  You know what that tells me?  As long as Peter focused on Christ, he was able to do the impossible, but the moment he focused on anything else he began to fail. 

Christ must ALWAYS be our focus.  Before our job, our money, our relationship, friends and even family....we should always be looking at Him.  When we make Christ our focus He enables us to start doing things like walking on water. Something that defies all logic, but then again it's so amazing to know that we don't serve a "logical" God. 

*I encourage you to read the full story of Jesus Walking On Water in Matthew 14:22-33 

Also, check out this video from one of my favorite artist, Mali Music called "Walk on Water."  His message/song was so timely for me and where I am right now, and hopefully it will be the same for you. Enjoy :)

"Walk on Water" by Mali Music

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