Oh, give me back my joy again;
you have broken me—
now let me rejoice
...Create in me a clean heart, O God.-Psalms 51:8,10
you have broken me—
now let me rejoice
...Create in me a clean heart, O God.-Psalms 51:8,10
Have you ever heard the phrase, “be careful what you pray
for?” Well after a few weeks ago, I can
honestly contest to this truth. It all started one Sunday morning when I was
getting ready for church (completely late and wrong lol) and the song, “Seattle”
by Mary-Mary came on the television. One
line in particular really grabbed my attention:
“Open up my heart, fill me with Your love
Every single part, make me what You’re made of……I just
want a heart like Yours.”
I really loved that, and those words stayed in my mind for
the next few weeks and it really started changing from a song into a personal
prayer. After practically wearing the
song out lol, I started praying that God would start to pull out the things in
me that weren’t like Him, and to literally “break my heart of the things that
break His heart.” Now if you’re like me,
I already had a preconceived notion what those “things” were….like being
softhearted when I saw people that were homeless, or fighting for justice when
I saw something I know to be wrong…..you
know all the practical stuff.
However, the things that break the heart of such an all powerful God go a
little bit deeper than the surface. Although,
the Bible clearly speaks about taking care of the less fortunate and standing
for what is right…..God is also totally and utterly concerned about the specific
things pertaining to you. How silly of me to think I could pray this
prayer and God not actually begin to do it!
I can honestly say that since I prayed this, it’s as if an
extremely large magnifying glass has appeared over my heart, only magnifying
the spots and the blotches that I didn’t even know existed….or forgot existed. So take it from me, if
you’re not serious about God performing open heart surgery on your life….DON’T ask
Him to do it.
"How many times have we abused God's grace and mercy on the things that are ultimately destroying our spirit?"
I absolutely love in Psalm 51 where David asks God to create
in Him a clean heart. That word “create”
is so vital, because David wasn’t just asking for forgiveness…..he was
literally asking God to break or destroy his old heart and rebuild a new heart
within in Him. How many times have we
asked God to forgive us of something, yet turn right back to it once we felt
the coast was clear? How many times have
we abused God’s grace and mercy on the things that are ultimately destroying
our spirit? God is not our personal genie.
We don’t pull Him out and rub Him when we want our wishes granted, nor
is He our one phone call when we need someone to bail us out of jail. We have to get God back to His rightful place
on the throne of our lives. He’s the
absolute supreme being, and don’t you know, He has the courtesy to want to use
all of that power in working to make us become just like Him? Crazy, huh?
I’ve said this many times before in my blog, but I stand by
it: God isn’t as concerned with changing our situation as much as He’s
concerned with changing us. Whew. If I really had enough time to tell you all
the things I’ve experienced in just a few weeks, it would be an entirely new
post. But even through all of the
challenges, I can honestly say….it’s making me better. These recent situations have truly revealed
the most deeply hidden traits about myself that I never fully brought to light. In case you’re wondering…It does NOT feel
good to learn these things, but man oh man is it necessary. I asked God to give me a heart like His, and
to break my heart of the things that breaks His heart….and He’s definitely doing it. Piece by piece. Layer by layer. His ultimate goal is to get all the
impurities out so that when He puts His face over my heart, He will only see
His reflection. Man, I love Him. I guess I’m maturing, because it takes a
mature Christian to say that despite all this discomfort, I’m so grateful for
this process. My life is far from
perfect, I’m experiencing a lot of road blocks and things definitely don't always go my way,
but I keep pressing, because at the end of the day, all I really want is "a
heart like Yours."
-Leah
Bible Study
*For more on this topic, check out the following scriptures:
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