"....But I Just Need Closure"

So things didn't exactly end the way you expected them to.  One day y'all were talking about meeting each others parents...the next day "He just thought y'all were real good friends." Like what!? lol  Trust me, I know exactly how this feels.  It's frustrating and confusing as heck, but do NOT mistake what you're feeling as a need for "closure."  You think because a certain situation ended abruptly you just have to find answers on as to "why" it didn't work out.  You say things like, "I just need to know what happened so I can move on with my life," or my absolute favorite, "I just need to know what I did wrong so I won't carry it into my next relationship."  Now if you genuinely feel the need to ask them those questions because you won't be able to function in life without those answers, then by all means....ask.  But for the rest of us who might be brave enough to admit that maybe..... closures not really what we're looking for.   Maybe, we just want to hear that person say "I was dumb for letting you go, so let's try 'us' again."

"Sometimes, what's understood doesn't need to be explained."

Here's the #1 mistake that we all make...we take matters into our own hands.  We send out those insignificant text messages, hoping that a "hey, how have you been?" will turn into a 10-page response on how they were foolish to let you go and asking for another chance.  However, 9/10 it won't.  It will leave you just as stuck as it did before. Truthfully, sometimes it just comes down to, "what's understood doesn't need to be explained." If the end result is you two are not going to be together, then that's pretty much your answer.  Now if you're dating someone and they have the courtesy of being honest with you on how they really view the relationship (or lack thereof) please respect them for that.  It's not always easy letting someone go, especially if they knew in their heart they didn't see it working out.


It's perfectly normal to want to know "why" but make sure you ask yourself that question before you ask that person.  If you really were to be honest with yourself it's not so much as to "why" it didn't work, but rather you still wanting them to want you. Oh, and stop letting your friends tell you "girl, you just really need to talk to him, make him give you the answers to all of your questions!"  You're going to get your feelings hurt listening to everyone tell you what you should do.  Because here's the truth......say you finally get the big closure you've been waiting on, and he/she says, "To be honest, I just didn't think we were compatible." Welp. There's the answer you've been waiting so long on.  Now what?   


Here's my answer to all of this: pray about it and give it to God.  I know, deep right?  We have to get to the point where we trust God enough to know when He's not allowing something to work.  Trust me I know it's not easy, but you would rather God deal with it, then you losing your mind over it.  But the beauty in letting God handle it is He ends up revealing the "why" anyway.  Your job is not to play detective on finding the missing pieces.  Your job is to trust God with everything that concerns you.....including your unanswered questions.  There's always a method to God's madness and whether you admit it or not you learned something from every failed relationship.  So try this...instead of asking God why....just tell Him thank You.  He's putting you one step closer to the one you are meant to be with.

"The Lord will perfect that which concerns me...." -Psalm 138:8

-Leah